Dreamer's Refuge ב"ה

A Student of Sense and Nonsense

Conversation with Galadriel (The Anima/Shekhinah)

I sit in an old style inn on a round old and rough wooden table.  

In the middle of the space is one large long wooden slab of a table with long benches on either side of it. Other round wooden tables are set in between the space where there is room. 

There is a large roaring fireplace ahead and to the left of me, and an empty bar with stools and drink behind it, set away from the same wall. The entrance is on the far left wall, and I can see that it is deep night outside the windows which sit on either side the entrance door. On my right is a wall with one window, with my back next to the opposite wall of the inn.

Sitting across from me is a beautiful woman in a silver white dress, she has long golden wavy hair, and her eyes are as blue as a still lake. On her forehead is a silver circlet with a upright crescent moon, its tips both pointing up. 

I am struck by her presence.  There is a mixture of a child’s wondrous awe, love, familiarity, longing, and a sense of melancholy. I miss her embrace though I have not known a woman in that way, nor do I consciously remember ever having been with her in such a fashion. As I search my memory of Her, tears threaten, they bud, yet do not come to bloom. A part of me pushes back against the flood of emotions as they threaten to overwhelm. There is a danger in sitting so close to Her, she pulls one in, like the ocean, embracing them with forgetfulness, bliss, and peaceful darkness of the security of night.

Being embraced by Her is like Heaven, but while alive turns into Hell. As the monsters, snakes, and dragons also roam the night, looking for the blind, forgetful and enraptured, unawares of the unseen dangers of living night.

She does not say a word, only smiles at me, but in her eyes I see an eternity of patience and understanding beckoning me, yet in her smile I see a warning that only a mother can give her child with a look. “Love me, but do not succumb to my embrace…not yet…” is what I hear in the silence, of the inn with the crackling fire.

Her smile remains, yet I hear her voice like honey deep inside, “Many will come to me, as my beloved nears, they come to my embrace out of fear of their father,  who they have forgotten. And in my embrace they will do unspeakable acts; have pity on them for when an animal is cornered it lashes out in terror unconscious of the harm it does.” 

I nod but out of fear and say nothing, for my emotions speak louder than any words may.

The scene changes to us standing on a high mountain, its peak is just big enough to support me and her standing on my left. It overlooks a dark primordial forest beneath. Further ahead is a large body of water, a lake, and still further on the right more trees.  A large, bright full silver moon sits high above us, and I hear the sounds of yelling and the unmistakable sound of metal clanking against metal. Sounds of two tribes fighting amongst themselves below.

I turn to her, she looks down with a saddened smile on her face. I say “I know I cannot linger here with you, but before I go I was hoping to feel you.” She says nothing but the silver light around her dims. She extends her hands in a motherly stance, and I fall into Her.  She smells of the wild, of the trees, sweet rotting leaves, the soil, the musk of animals. She is soft, but her embrace is reassuring. A one pointedness starts to seep into my mind, as if I am falling into dreamful sleep. She is intoxicating, and I long to fall deeper; but she lets go, and the silver light again brightens around her. 

I say “I am sorry, forgive me.” And she disperses with the same saddened smile into a mist, which slowly flows and covers the forest below.  I hear wild screams of agony, excitement, triumph and defeat, I can only look on in horror, bearing witness to the terrible beauty of life.

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