Dreamer's Refuge ב"ה

A Student of Sense and Nonsense

Circumambulation of the Angel Lucifer

An ugly twisted form appears in the void. It does not move, only looks on into the endless space behind me.  The void is black as far as the eye can see in all directions with no beginning or end, yet it is illuminated. The light permeates and has a presence I cannot put into words but can sense with my heart.

Counter-clockwise I circle the twisted from, and though it does not speak to announce itself, I know it to be a manifestation of the Angel Lucifer. I feel no hate towards it, but a mixture of a child’s fearful awe, compassion, and growing understanding.

As I circle it, the being scowls as if to threaten me. I sense threads of hate and ill will emanating from it.

“I am in awe of you, and I want to know and understand you. You are a part of my nature that has remained hidden, discarded and hated until recently. This understanding, and need to know mirrors what I feel for God, thought that word fails to describe the infinite. I know enough to smile, rather than echo the hate you have come to expect. ”

It’s form changes and becomes less menacing, though it says nothing.

I continue to walk around it, in an even pace. “Though I hear you, I resist your sublime and primal call. There is no contempt in the resistance, only the knowledge that doing as you will, would again set me on a path that I am no longer interested in. Though many in society walk it joyously in horror.” It’s form shifts again, its pitch black skin shows splotches of silver light that spread out like illuminating rust.

It says nothing, though its face takes on a pained expression.

The circumambulation continues; “The left hand must do what the right will not, or cannot.  For doesn’t God say I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster. (Isaiah 45:7) You are creations most beloved and hated servant and messenger. For that I feel compassion for you, and do what I can, with the help of the numinous powers of God, to accept while neither hating or loving you; I just will to understand you.  I know you as a contradictory part of my nature, as you are also a contradiction in the numinous whole.”

The silver light grows around the body of the being, and its skin and face take on a beautiful and luminous appearance. It has a smile of a trickster, it’s eyes are full of golden light, its clawed hands change and now hold a flaming sword. It has wings of bright threads of light.

Both of its hands wrap around the hilt of the sword and pierce the invisible ground beneath it. The sword pulls it down the Angel falls like a shooting star out of sight.

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